BLOGGING TO SOOTH THE NERVES.

This imagination thread #soothe http://bit.ly/2ht5h3g — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) December 28, 2016

This thread for today, to ponder http://bit.ly/2ijXHWX #soothe — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) December 26, 2016

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Analyse. Read. Write something. Now, what shall I post? or you can prompt me to say something :) — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) December 23, 2016

Now, what shall I post? or you can prompt me to say something :) #soothe — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) December 19, 2016

Now, what shall I post? or you can prompt me to say something :) #soothe — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) December 18, 2016

Now, what shall I post? or you can prompt me to say something :) #soothe — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) December 17, 2016

Why not take this thread to my blog? #soothe Done? — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) December 16, 2016

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Analyse. Read. Write something. Comment from discussion Reddit, what is your favorite poem? .

Good. Coming to blogger after a long time. My nerves are smooth. Bad. The My wap blog is closed. I had some good time there. Good. I have imported the entries from my wap blog to my blogger now. Bad. If somebody reads (who reads?) and if the my wap blog links does not work? Oh nothing will happen. Analyse. This month I have not written special diary consisting of 100 words. Sister has come again after some leave. She is one step there at Bengaluru and one step here at Hubballi. So many people are travelling from Bengaluru and Hubbali. My sister has become one such person. Let things go favoring her conveniences. Things will take shape as time passes. Now Deepavali festival is fast approaching. My another sister's daughter is getting married shortly. Meantime I have to write the re-exam on 4th November. Read. Read for the exam. Read the blog entries. Write something. Write a diary.

Sister had 4 working days at Hubballi and reached Bengaluru today. The ASUS laptop is back from the repairs. Working well. Today is Mahalaya Amavasya. A special new moon day. Nine days of dussehra festivity begins. I am trying my level best to study for the forthcoming examination on 4th and 5th of October. I am motivating myself that I have come very near to the success and I should not quit. I shouldn't fail to put the extra efforts which I've not put forth in my life so far. Keep digging the tunnel. I'll do that with all earnestness.

The ASUS laptop fellow says that he will be telephoning this week. He has estimated a sum of ₹ 7000/- for the 'processing board' repair. I'll be getting around ₹ 9000 this month as extra in my salary. The amount minus the income tax I've to pay for that amount (20%) would suffice to pay this repair bill. Glad about this. My sister has come and she will be attending her office this week. We will do our best to keep her in good spirits so that something better is established for her family. Three more days of September. Do.

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24 days have gone in the month of September. (24th is being in the process of going) The diary writing at MyWapBlog was taken up to have a diversion from the Study project I've undertaken. Twelve entries have been made so far. I intend to make 15 entries and call it September! There is time enough. Only thing is that I've to get hold of it. Glad. I'll do that. This is the thirteenth entry for the month of September and I'll will write two more entries and the rest of the time will be used for full time Study

Yes, from yesterday onwards, I have started wearing Dentures. Now teeth are there in my mouth! The initial practice of biting things is going on. Hopefully, I can bite nuts like groundnut, almonds, and cashew nut. Thanks much for my wife and children, they are happy to see me smile with false teeth. Thanks to my dentist whom you see in the picture who has shown his skill in creating this denture. He said he has made the smile aesthetic. ____________ The Stress of the forthcoming exam is on.  Will I be able to do something profitable?  I am not Glad. _______________________

I am glad that something is there in my mind that tells me that thinking like this and acting like this is not good. Glad that, that 'something' also tells me that a serious effort is to be made to remove that lethargy or useless thing will not at all work. The Gladness also tells me (oh that 'something' I began to call as 'gladness') Smile with a little effort. Breathe. Watch the breathing. Feel overwhelmed to breathe? A smile with little effort will do. Smile. Be Glad. Trying to fix myself for a studying mood. Glad I am trying.

“And most generally there is something about everything that you can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it. Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna (Pollyanna, #1) Wish: "Want to read Pollyanna novel one of these days." Pollyanna principle is that at the basic level we are all optimistic. (Sub conscious level? ) The past four days I was not attending office on the pretext of preparing for the examination which is now scheduled on 4th and 5th of October. I was watching movies and reading a tiny bit. Keeping Pollyanna in mind am still very optimistic. Wait!

Shit happens. We shit comfortably. As long as we independently attend to our natural calls we are very 'fit' When we partially depend on others to get inside the toilet and do the activity the 'fitness' could be called workable and let us thank the destiny that we have caring people around us. When we become fully dependent on others to cleanse ourselves to enter into the toilet, what is the use of life? The trouble is to others. They become disgusted. Shit. Life is to live as long as we are fit enough to throw out the waste independently.

Office Portico - the railing there reminds me of a ship's deck. I recollect the ship 'Titanic' - of course the Titanic movie. The lovers in the movie give a romantic pose. I stand there burnt out working at the office. A JCB machine moves. Two cows move about. I watch them. Moving things. Stationery rails. Flying birds. My burnt out thoughts. Moving, flying or stationery...my thoughts my blankness everything is an illusion No great meaning in them. Great Poet Bharatiyaar has already defined this meaningless and illusion long back. Meaninglessness is the meaning of life? Purposeless is the purpose of life?

My envy feeling is genuine. Envy - genuine ha ha what is this? Genuine envy gives a better understanding? Do I mean perfectly well that my feeling of envy is well deserved? Do I make it clear that I am not mean by welcoming a genuine envy whole heartedly? Two, three years ago I nearly passed that examination. Another five marks, I could have got the promotion he got now. He did not nearly pass that examination then.. He passed now and got the promotion. I failed. Ok, this envy is genuine. Feel green. Don't feel guilty about the envy feeling

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Asus. Sister. Exam. Yoga. What will happen to these things is the scene that is going on in life's drama now. I feel I am just fitting myself to things and not forcing myself to act right. Today is a holiday and the morning is used to whine my inability to see things or dream things as how they will happen. Apart from the four things listed in the beginning, the fifth of today is that the documents sent to my son at Bengaluru was not received by him. My expectation was that he will receive that pukka- in time.

A cleared box at the word counter. What was that I was doing without writing a diary? Let me hit the cellphone key board. The word counter is counting the words. My younger sister was with us on Thursday and Friday. She has got a promotion and is transferred to our city. We are trying to help her to establish herself here. She has joined her concern and is back to her headquarters to settle things there. Hope we do our best to help her to make her life in this town comfortable. The study thing personally is not happening.

Yesterday I was wondering how to reach 100 words at Zen pen. Yes I discovered that (why my other study is not going with discoveries like this? ) The explanation is given by an article (at WordPress) Nice I discovered this. The blue colour is still on the right side and it has come half way. Supposing I save this in Google keep, how nice it would be. Just select everything I write here and it will be copied in Google keep.  Minimal requirement for writing and minimal facility for saving. Supposing I make this a diary post?  Nice!

The Asus laptop is not switching on. The internet says remove the battery and switch on the power for 30 seconds. Who will help me to remove the battery? I cannot do independently. We sought the help  from young people. No use. The machine is to be  taken to the service center. The mywapblog app is not editing the drafts. Today's diary is again through the  app in android. I have to download the app again. My wife uninstalled it. tip: I have to enter twice to get a line break when I'm writing using cellphone. .. diary in 100 words.

I will use zenpen.io to write today's diary. ‘Diary writing’ I am writing alright. Why can't I do my study like this?  I can! Yesterday I wrote 100 words. Today I will write using zen pen. I will also be using the android application of mywapblog which I have downloaded in our oppo phone some moments ago.I have targetted to write 100 words in the interface of zenpen. Where shall I save this to take to my app later to be published? Zen pen will inform me when I complete 100 words? Zen did not!

picsart2016-05-9-12-59-2.png I wanted to 'let go' this #diary writing stuff during this month of September.  I wanted to make use the time to study. To study for an examination.   So much 'motivation' so much studying in mind. So much linking in the mind the subject matters. Oh, the 'letting go' of the activity does not help.  Only the #diary writing activity is skipped. Continuous reading of the study materials I have is not going on. The plans to fill up the notebooks I have with writing is not happening. At this rate shall I let go both my exam and diary?

copy paste                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Ever gotten so "in the zone" at work that you completely lost track of time?   Write    Yes. Such times are lovely. I want more such times.   Image from the internet -- cgbalu from Hubbali

The best hack #soothe http://bit.ly/29R38eU — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) July 17, 2016

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Analyse. Read. Write something. When not fully engaged with work, or when the work requires others involvement, opinion or approval and I'm made to wait for such things, the mind goes to lethargic mood and thinks all sorts of nonsense. One nonsense is the feeling that the world is full of young people. I checked the Reddit for subreddits meant for 50 plus people. (I'm 55+) There is one subreddit for 50+ Oh, plenty of dating sites are there for 50+ people. More 50+ sites are there for women. The Women 50+ sites say feeling 30 at 50! So, thinking about age is nonsense? Live young.

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Analyse. Read. Write something. I learnt yesterday that by properly searching  Twitter I can get my diary entries in a line. I can bring to my computer screen the daily writings datewise. This day I was reviewing the past 14 days entries and tried to bring in me some better insights. I've used mywapblog, Facebook, Zoho writer, WordPress, JotStory and dropbox paper to write these 100 words diary everyday. During the past fortnight, I was thrilled at Juno mission, regretted a bit about the small tiffs and trying to catch the mornings actively. Trying to catch hold of one small chore of preparing coffee Tweets about #diary lang:en from:cgBalu since:2016-06-30 until:2016-07-15 include:retweets

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I should write something fast. I should not bog my mind thinking what to write. I should not also over think about the facility I should take to write. A simple word utility from MS will do. The words are automatically counted. This month, whatever I write will be uploaded to Zoho writer. Sunday’s I should change the blogging place. Today is Saturday and tomorrow, I will change the place to put in 100 words. Thinking of Face book notes. If things work out well and I find interesting things to write I shall make the writing for seven days.

Why am I feeling guilty? The  plans were fantastic. I took a day off. In a relaxed way I can take her to the function. The more relaxation, the more fun will be the relaxation. The people who invited us for the function had invited us in a grand way. They had given wife a nice  Sari . She  wore it with all interest. The function was house warming ceremony and naming ceremony. I did my best to take her to the function. The road was slushy and we could not reach the destination. Something good intended could not be accomplished.

"Why another crockery? We have plenty in the rack." When on shopping spree no one can stop her. "Why, when guests come I'll use this" "When guest come, we take them to Restaurant...why need?" I can't utter this. Very vulnerable. "Don't buy the adult diaper in 10s pack...buy two" Her equation is different. The adult diaper may go waste, if the ailing elder becomes alright. The remaining diapers will be of no use. It will sleep in the cupboard. Not in the case of excess crockery. They will not sleep. They'll will decorate! Adult diapers is not equal to crockery. Logic.

The report I made in the morning session at work was done well. What is the benefit of that report? I've to see tomorrow. This was the question I posed myself in the diary entry I did on Thursday. I did not follow it up on Friday. The 100 words diary entry for Friday was some rants on thoughts and how to take actions based on the thoughts – Mainly writing them down. The report I made at work was of no use. It served no purpose. Purposeless work I do. (at the time of doing that work – it was Purposeful!)

Thoughts happening. Plenty of thoughts. Some thoughts tell me: "Write about me. Write about me" Plethora of equipment and facilities to write. I can choose only one thought and one facility to write. I can do well choosing one from the option: 'Lap Top' 'PC' or 'Cell Phone' Right, I choose 'Lap Top' I pick up the thought process of 'writing what and how?' I use 'Drafts' to draft this. I intend to Publish this on 'Blogger'

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Analyse. Read. Write something. A small nap. Full of energy. What were the thoughts that were nagging me to put them into words today? I know that if I say this, then they will not be happy. Yet, why I say that? Kiran’s quote today: "Anyway you're going to enjoy a long sleep, so if you don't sleep and start living during that time it is good" Kiran said it was said by Ananth Nag. He said that quote sleepily. The report I made in the morning session at work was done well. What is the benefit of that report? I've to see tomorrow.

​ Some days are damn chaotic. Core chores consumes the day. Just can't seek a corner to sit and pour my thoughts  ​in​  writing. The not able to write my thoughts is one thing and the chores I attend to don't become ripe  ​is another thing​ I was apprehensive about my mother's hand, about her difficulty in movements of  ​her​  limbs in future. I need not worry, my wife and a helpful Ayah are taking care. There ​,  the gloomy mood vanishes.... Peculiar mind. I visit the dentist. Fruitful thing happens. My lone canine is extracted. A happy mind now. -- cgbalu from Hubbali

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Analyse. Read. Write something. The happening of togetherness with wife is good. Good provided, she does a work with the available resources in the vicinity and talks less. The present work is taking a snap of her husband. She did not say that she will take a photograph using her cell phone. Her cell phone was away in another room. She used husband’s cell phone. She did not tell him to smile. Usually smile does not come to husbands when wife is seriously doing some work. She did not tell him to pose as she desired. This applies to husband as well. Very intricate!

The Writing diary obsession began at MyWapBlog on the very first day during May 16. This June month I'm using MyWapBlog on 3rd day (happened) Dear 1: She need not get scared this much. Without fear she can take steps. She will be alright if she is bold. Dear 2 What is scaring her to drive a car? She can take it easy na? No. My motivation or authority doesn't work. She can get the thing she wants -without fear she should get in. Listen to the Doctor's guidelines Dear ones get bold. (frustration on the happenings of the day)

The happening of posting diary entries at DropBox and MS Word on 1st and 2nd of June 2016 respectively happened very well and the experience was lovely.  A man should have some simple and mundane things to try and achieve. It gives him a purpose. This is the meaning of life and we should see the happenings in style.  What is happening today is that I am using MyWapBlog to post today's diary.  Want to make this happen tomorrow also.  What then.....?  When I write this...just a single tooth is occupying my mouth. Nice time with daughter and my mother

why do "unnatural" state visit us often? Perhaps to know what the natural state really means? #soothe http://bit.ly/1TLdkDT — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu) May 28, 2016

Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Analyse. Read. Write something. My mother used to tell me that we should have a magic mirror so that we can see what is happening at kith and kin's places. Today using my windows phone and LG smart TV I projected my niece Wedding engagement function images and videos on the 49 inches Smart TV. Poor lady. She can't hear. She is now telling me 'if I can hear too..' One more fantasy of my mother is: "We should have a bag..that bag should always generate money incessantly and we should keep on spending..." We work and we get money every month. Incessant. Right?

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight..... that's all remaining in my mouth now. What is the count? Yes, all molars gone. Premolar went. Incisors went. Some canines' are hanging around. The dentist couple very happily injects anaesthesia and 'dong'... They pull out my teeth - two per sitting. Four hundred bucks are also extracted. Then advice: "remove the cotton after half an hour. Eat ice cream Take painkiller if needed." The anaesthesia numbness remains some time. I don't care, my teeth are going....but regret, they could have gone to oblivion after getting my Grandfather Status.

In the Sunday Science edition in one of the twitter accounts, I read about the biological time in humans. It said that between 11 PM and 1 AM the mind is creative. I can vouch for this fact. When I was at college, or when I was studying for some job-related examination, what little knowledge that went inside my head was around this time. May be for 10 to 20 minutes between 23 hrs to 1 hrs I had a great feeling of having accomplished something. It is sad that most of the creative juices dry up the next day.

This 100 words diary is like opening a small window of my life. If someone happens to read they get a small glimpse of my face. Whether I am wearing clothes or am naked at home they will not know. A man is judged by what all he can remember and put forth in expressions like speech or writing. I don't remember the thought that just passed through me now, sometimes. How can I give you the best of my thoughts through a small window? When I open the window, just question me something. You may get a better glimpse.

Evenings I ask my mom to prepare coffee. . Frail mom obliges. Am I hard on her to request to do this chore? Oh, her fingers are bent. Damn rheumatism. She cannot move about fast. Her legs pain like hell. She cannot hear. When I ask her coffee, she moves driven by love. Ah- succeeds in lighting the stove. She pours the decoction into the vessel. She boils the milk. She mixes the milk and coffee decoction adding sugar. She takes help in opening the sugar bowl. Some exercise to her hand. Coffee with love to the 57 year old kid

These writings are simply pap and blathering. There is no surrealism in these posts. There is an itch to write and that is done framing certain rules and routines. Writing one hundred words is one rule. Picking up a subject for  a day, posting them into a blogging platform I choose and creating the diary link at twitter around 9 pm are the rules I follow now. I followed a rule to begin a day's entry with a word or phrase with which I ended the previous post. This rule is exempted now. Free writing now, here for a week.

I cleaned the kitchen table. I wanted to get appreciated by my mother. I wanted her attention. Poor lady, she can't hear and she cannot move fast. Moreover she was watching a movie on the TV. I called her and showed my great work. "your wife coming tomorrow?" (silly. She thinks I will clean only if wife comes) I showed my one finger. "one day?" I nod negative. "one month?" Oh, how to tell her one week? I want to tell my mother so many things. But she gets it wrong. She articulates pessimism. Pessimism or optimism? Keep mum. Love.

It is nice. The new month begins on a holiday. Let me relax actively and be ready for a hectic week ahead. One of the awkward moment is: "waiting". Now I am waiting for the help maid to clean the house. When she will come? It is after her work is over, that I can continue my work. Yesterday, I was waiting for the mechanic for the service of my car. The thing is we chalk out a plan for us. That plan should go well with theirs too. The waiting for mother to give her the porridge was also anxious.

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