Skip to main content

MIDDLE BY VARALOTTI.

Agony aunts galore
By Varalotti Rengasamy
Agony aunt columns promise to help the querist, but end up entertaining others
 
 

'I have this nasty affair with my colleague. I feel terribly guilty. Can you help me?'

A typical question in a popular women's magazine in its agony aunt column. The answer is equally typical – some hackneyed cliches and some boring homilies, all delivered in bold letters on a glossy paper. No one will ever know what the querist did. But a few thousands of readers would have derived voyeuristic pleasure in reading the column.

Agony Aunt columns give solid business. My friend who works for a women's magazine told me that many men buy these magazines because of these columns. Many people doubt the authenticity of the queries. but, the juicier the query, greater the suspicion. If the querist has a nasty affair why should she proclaim it to the world? The alternatives are much more sensible than asking a magazine column.


A few years ago a popular psychologist was answering a typical agony aunt column on a TV channel. His co-host was a beautiful final year medical student. The fact that sex-related queries were read out by a beautiful woman and the answers provided by a humorous psychiatrist made the show very popular. He might not have provided solutions to all the problems but he definitely provided entertainment to thousands of viewers.

Spiritual agony aunts provide the best humour in town. A devotee had asked in anguish: 'As I was completing my daily puja on Friday morning the oil lamp in the puja room suddenly went off. I am worried about this bad omen.' The unfazed agony aunt replied in a non-chalant tone: 'When the lamp is put off, light it again. That to me is the best possible retribution for your problem.' Some agony aunts are brilliant, like this one. The querist was a thirty year old married man with two kids. 'My neighbour's daughter, a 14-year-old good-looking girl has shown interest in me. She is ready for anything. Tell me how I should prepare myself.' The reply: 'Get a lawyer and ask him to prepare a bail application for you because having a relationship with a 14 year old is criminal offence. You may also prepare yourself for an extended jail-life.'



--
Have a nice time....reply if you have time -I will have a nice time.

Comments

Post a Comment

Say something about good bad and search. I shall write taking an idea from there.

Popular posts from this blog

The Big Bang Theory.

He is robbed including his pants. He can’t fix himself to change in life. He calls Leonard. — Girmit (^‿^) (@cgBalu)   🚆 → 🚉 → 🚆 → 🚉 A funny moment from  The Big Bang Theory  (Season 8, Episode 1). Sheldon decides to tour American cities by train. New York. Arizona. A few others. But there is a Sheldon twist. He never actually goes into the cities. He remains inside trains and railway stations, orbiting them like a cautious satellite. Then disaster strikes. He is robbed. Everything goes. Even his pants. And Sheldon being Sheldon, he cannot recalibrate his personality. So he does the only logical thing in his universe: he calls Leonard. ❤😎  
Post a Comment
Read more

Gunshot Piercing

Chill Gunshot Piercing It began, as all life-altering decisions do, with someone else’s fashion. My younger cousin walked in wearing purple ear studs—confident, casual, as if he had always been this stylish creature. I looked at him. He looked at me. The studs looked back at me and whispered, “Upgrade pending…” My wife sealed the matter in one line: “You will look good.” That was it. Proposal passed. No further discussion. A few days later, we went to the jeweller’s shop to buy a chain for our daughter. A normal, respectable outing. But destiny had other plans… and a small device that makes a sound like a stapler with attitude. My five-year-old grandson came along, purely for moral support—his own, not mine. The jeweller inspected my ears like an archaeologist discovering ancient ruins. “Ah! Old holes are there,” he declared, as if announcing hidden treasure. My wife took charge. She marked the exact spot on my earlobes with the seriousness of a surgeon and the confidence of ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Same ease. Same certainty. No performance.

We went to the community departmental store, my grandson and I. I like walking with him. I’m quietly proud of it. Long ago, when I was young, I travelled in a car with a prominent man from our small town. My uncle sat beside him; I sat in front with the driver. He wasn’t loud. Didn’t instruct much. Authority sat on him like it had always belonged there. We had gone to a bigger town for Deepavali shopping. At one stop, my uncle got down, ran into a shop, and brought back two veshtis. The man didn’t touch them. Didn’t examine. Just glanced and said, almost lazily, “Take the one with the green border.” That was it. Decision made. No noise, no effort. Now I’m in a store again. Different time. Different company. My wife has given me a list. My grandson walks beside me, scanning shelves. At the biscuit aisle, he doesn’t fumble through brands. No debate. His eyes settle on a purple pa...
Post a Comment
Read more