BLOGGING TO SOOTH THE NERVES.

Sister had 4 working days at Hubballi and reached Bengaluru today. The ASUS laptop is back from the repairs. Working well. Today is Mahalaya Amavasya. A special new moon day. Nine days of dussehra festivity begins. I am trying my level best to study for the forthcoming examination on 4th and 5th of October. I am motivating myself that I have come very near to the success and I should not quit. I shouldn't fail to put the extra efforts which I've not put forth in my life so far. Keep digging the tunnel. I'll do that with all earnestness.

The ASUS laptop fellow says that he will be telephoning this week. He has estimated a sum of ₹ 7000/- for the 'processing board' repair. I'll be getting around ₹ 9000 this month as extra in my salary. The amount minus the income tax I've to pay for that amount (20%) would suffice to pay this repair bill. Glad about this. My sister has come and she will be attending her office this week. We will do our best to keep her in good spirits so that something better is established for her family. Three more days of September. Do.

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24 days have gone in the month of September. (24th is being in the process of going) The diary writing at MyWapBlog was taken up to have a diversion from the Study project I've undertaken. Twelve entries have been made so far. I intend to make 15 entries and call it September! There is time enough. Only thing is that I've to get hold of it. Glad. I'll do that. This is the thirteenth entry for the month of September and I'll will write two more entries and the rest of the time will be used for full time Study

Yes, from yesterday onwards, I have started wearing Dentures. Now teeth are there in my mouth! The initial practice of biting things is going on. Hopefully, I can bite nuts like groundnut, almonds, and cashew nut. Thanks much for my wife and children, they are happy to see me smile with false teeth. Thanks to my dentist whom you see in the picture who has shown his skill in creating this denture. He said he has made the smile aesthetic. ____________ The Stress of the forthcoming exam is on.  Will I be able to do something profitable?  I am not Glad. _______________________

I am glad that something is there in my mind that tells me that thinking like this and acting like this is not good. Glad that, that 'something' also tells me that a serious effort is to be made to remove that lethargy or useless thing will not at all work. The Gladness also tells me (oh that 'something' I began to call as 'gladness') Smile with a little effort. Breathe. Watch the breathing. Feel overwhelmed to breathe? A smile with little effort will do. Smile. Be Glad. Trying to fix myself for a studying mood. Glad I am trying.

“And most generally there is something about everything that you can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it. Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna (Pollyanna, #1) Wish: "Want to read Pollyanna novel one of these days." Pollyanna principle is that at the basic level we are all optimistic. (Sub conscious level? ) The past four days I was not attending office on the pretext of preparing for the examination which is now scheduled on 4th and 5th of October. I was watching movies and reading a tiny bit. Keeping Pollyanna in mind am still very optimistic. Wait!

Shit happens. We shit comfortably. As long as we independently attend to our natural calls we are very 'fit' When we partially depend on others to get inside the toilet and do the activity the 'fitness' could be called workable and let us thank the destiny that we have caring people around us. When we become fully dependent on others to cleanse ourselves to enter into the toilet, what is the use of life? The trouble is to others. They become disgusted. Shit. Life is to live as long as we are fit enough to throw out the waste independently.

Office Portico - the railing there reminds me of a ship's deck. I recollect the ship 'Titanic' - of course the Titanic movie. The lovers in the movie give a romantic pose. I stand there burnt out working at the office. A JCB machine moves. Two cows move about. I watch them. Moving things. Stationery rails. Flying birds. My burnt out thoughts. Moving, flying or stationery...my thoughts my blankness everything is an illusion No great meaning in them. Great Poet Bharatiyaar has already defined this meaningless and illusion long back. Meaninglessness is the meaning of life? Purposeless is the purpose of life?

My envy feeling is genuine. Envy - genuine ha ha what is this? Genuine envy gives a better understanding? Do I mean perfectly well that my feeling of envy is well deserved? Do I make it clear that I am not mean by welcoming a genuine envy whole heartedly? Two, three years ago I nearly passed that examination. Another five marks, I could have got the promotion he got now. He did not nearly pass that examination then.. He passed now and got the promotion. I failed. Ok, this envy is genuine. Feel green. Don't feel guilty about the envy feeling

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Asus. Sister. Exam. Yoga. What will happen to these things is the scene that is going on in life's drama now. I feel I am just fitting myself to things and not forcing myself to act right. Today is a holiday and the morning is used to whine my inability to see things or dream things as how they will happen. Apart from the four things listed in the beginning, the fifth of today is that the documents sent to my son at Bengaluru was not received by him. My expectation was that he will receive that pukka- in time.

A cleared box at the word counter. What was that I was doing without writing a diary? Let me hit the cellphone key board. The word counter is counting the words. My younger sister was with us on Thursday and Friday. She has got a promotion and is transferred to our city. We are trying to help her to establish herself here. She has joined her concern and is back to her headquarters to settle things there. Hope we do our best to help her to make her life in this town comfortable. The study thing personally is not happening.

Yesterday I was wondering how to reach 100 words at Zen pen. Yes I discovered that (why my other study is not going with discoveries like this? ) The explanation is given by an article (at WordPress) Nice I discovered this. The blue colour is still on the right side and it has come half way. Supposing I save this in Google keep, how nice it would be. Just select everything I write here and it will be copied in Google keep.  Minimal requirement for writing and minimal facility for saving. Supposing I make this a diary post?  Nice!

The Asus laptop is not switching on. The internet says remove the battery and switch on the power for 30 seconds. Who will help me to remove the battery? I cannot do independently. We sought the help  from young people. No use. The machine is to be  taken to the service center. The mywapblog app is not editing the drafts. Today's diary is again through the  app in android. I have to download the app again. My wife uninstalled it. tip: I have to enter twice to get a line break when I'm writing using cellphone. .. diary in 100 words.

I will use zenpen.io to write today's diary. ‘Diary writing’ I am writing alright. Why can't I do my study like this?  I can! Yesterday I wrote 100 words. Today I will write using zen pen. I will also be using the android application of mywapblog which I have downloaded in our oppo phone some moments ago.I have targetted to write 100 words in the interface of zenpen. Where shall I save this to take to my app later to be published? Zen pen will inform me when I complete 100 words? Zen did not!

picsart2016-05-9-12-59-2.png I wanted to 'let go' this #diary writing stuff during this month of September.  I wanted to make use the time to study. To study for an examination.   So much 'motivation' so much studying in mind. So much linking in the mind the subject matters. Oh, the 'letting go' of the activity does not help.  Only the #diary writing activity is skipped. Continuous reading of the study materials I have is not going on. The plans to fill up the notebooks I have with writing is not happening. At this rate shall I let go both my exam and diary?